Thomas, its kind of bland. My parents said they didnt want anything crazy or stupid that wouldnt get me a job when I was older. They said Thomas is respectable and capable, my mother said it was her Grandfathers name, but I never met him and nobody has ever told me what he was like. I cant find the meaning of my name, one deosnt serach for the meaning of their name I feel, to me it has to come to you and always be with you. When I was little people always called me " Thomas the Tank Engine" due to my sheer resemblance to a train, just kidding it was my name. But when you think Thomas you think of lawyer with 2 college degrees and has a wife and two kids and lives a normal life. Thomas to me is normal its nothing out of the blue. When people hear my name they think of an averge white guy, nothing to it. It doenst define my maybe if my name was Serria Bravo or maybe maverik or goose or something really cool.
Im always aware of the two sides, I always am two sides my whole life is two sides. Not one event hold the two sides, there can be the competive side of me but at the same time I still joke around even in the most serious of times. But my whole life there has been the two sides of there has been the super happy, up beat, supportive and out going Tommy. He's always cracking jokes and whimsy and never takes anything serious and he's happy and will do anything to help someone out. But at the same time there is sad and stresses and troubled Tommy who is alwasy trying to be something and someone I cannot do. Its never enough, the pressure placed on me by authority figures makes me feel horrible, im always doing something for somebody to help them out. Im alwasy being yelled at. Its never good enough and this stresses me and out and makes me feel horrible, I cant ever do anything right in my life. Then when I leave the privacy of my own world and talk to people I put this facade up. I dont want anyone bothering with that other Tommy, no one needs to know that he exists, this facade protects me from people trying to interfere with my life in ways they do not need to. The effect it has on me is that it helps forget how terrible my life can be sometime and allows me to communicate properly with others and enjoy life for the time being.
I agree that a name can have sort of a two-sided nature, like in your case where you say there's the relaxed and the stressed Tommy. I think that names also can shape those two different sides, that they influence how you can see yourself in two different lights, so say someone with a plain name can see themselves as both normal and different. So I guess what I'm trying to say is that names have multiple ways of influencing us, and that a name for one person may make them see themselves one way, while the same name might have a completely different effect for someone else.
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